The Power of Control
I read a quote recently, that stated, “He who controls the past controls the future. He who controls the present controls the past.” - George Orwell. When I read that, I really sat with it and pondered it. The longer I sat with it, the more powerful it became. It made me reflect on my own life, the life of others I know, and even on my sweet donkey, Barbie. She is the perfect example of this quote and it resonates in her story that I want to share with you now.
Barbie is one of four donkeys at the ranch. She is a rescued donkey with a sorted history that I can’t begin to know about. What I do know is she is scared of humans. She avoids and observes if she doesn’t feel protected with a fence between, and even with the fence, she remains ready to retreat. She is slowly building trust with me, but after almost a full year at the ranch with lots of love, attention, and trust building interaction, her past continues to control her future. With things as they stand, Barbie will never be one to engage and enjoy the fullness of what we have to offer her at our ranch. Her past trauma is in charge of her future.
However, we have had a couple of breakthroughs where she has joined up, allowed herself to be brushed, haltered, and even practiced loading a trailer. She surrendered her fear for the first time out here and got her feet trimmed without sedation. She even tolerated connection enough to tolerate weight on her back briefly. It was glorious to experience for both her and her humans!
Then, fear crept back in. Rather than staying in the present, something reminded her of her past, and again the past was controlling her future. It is a slow and steady process and the mind of a donkey is like no other animal. They are thinkers and processors. She is going to have to continue to work it out in her brain… does she want to focus on the present or surrender to the fear of her past. It’s a choice…. a hard choice… but a choice.
That is how life is, really. A series of hard choices. As my parent’s always quoted, “nothing worth having comes easy.” So, much like Barbie, we can choose the hard that paralyzes us and continues to control the future from the realm of that paralysis, or we can break free seize the moment, do the hard thing, the scary thing, the brave thing anyway, and live in all the present has to offer us and watch the past no longer control us, but us instead control the past.
Animal Assisted Psychotherapy provides a safe place for our animals in healing and people in healing to intersect. It creates a beautiful experience of authenticity, support, space for choice, and understanding that we are all a work in progress. Just like Barbie, sometimes we may reach our bravery and have some breakthrough. Other days, we may struggle to lean in and try at all. However, if we just choose to keep showing up, the choice becomes clear and the strength to do the hard things solidifies until the breakthrough is complete and we are freed from the hold of the past and are embracing the moments of our present that bring us hope joy, and peace.
Barbie is getting there. Every session we work to join up, she becomes more ready to control her present in order to control her past rather than her past controlling the outcome of her future. She inspires me to do the same.
Sincerely,
Robin